Since I received nice comments [which I got because of my incessant pangungulit] from what I've posted here about Chico and Delamar's top 10 segment, I decided to rummage through their previous top 10 subjects and tried to look for another great and funny one that they had couple of days ago...and here I am, got something up on my sleeve, not really coz I borrowed it again from the best jocks on the morning radio.
Oh...well...too much preamble......do you still recall the line which Teri Hatcher said on her show Desperate Housewives?...the one that shows racism against us-Filipinos, especially Filipino nurses. I can't remember the exact line but I guess I got the idea of what she said. I think it goes like "It's alright to have a nurse as long as it will not come from the Philippines"...I mean that's not what she actually said, but the idea is same as that!, right?...Am I correct?..[just let me know if I'm not, ok] By the way...so I obtain a top10 topic from Chico & Del about racism....particularly against blondes.....It's good...it really is....[this will serve as our vengeance against them [it was just only my opinion]....It's about the stupid things that blondes commonly say or do....Their topic was not merely an act of abashing/making fun of the blondes....it was just a joke, they're just trying to give fun to their listeners...It wasn't personal.....They came up with a topic which was Top Dumb Blonde Quotes......Listed after this sentence are the entries from their avid listeners that made it to the top 10.
The whole program was divided again into three audio files....Here's the 1st batch......
10. Jessica Simpson, with her classic: "I didn't know buffalos have wings."....after laughing for a bit Del said "I just don't know if she was meaning to say it or is she really that d-u-m-b?"
9. Kelly Pickler: "Is Europe a country?", then Chico blurted out "I mean like....I think I've been there....like in the capital."
8. During mammography......
Blonde: "Doc, magtatanggal na ba ako ng panty?", ...then the jocks laugh and Del reacted "Wrong body part!!!!!!"
7. Question: "How does a blonde's brain cell die?"
Answer: ALONE!!!!, then a 1-second pause is heard and after that their loud laughter.....,Chico and Del exclaimed "Owww....no friends, no family, kawawa naman, no barkada."
6. Question: "How do you drown a blonde?"
Answer: "Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool." after their long giggling session, Del blurted out "All apologies to all blondes right away. We know, all blondes are not dumb, but it's an umbrella term-'dumb blonde'." and Chico added "This could be like quotes about dumb blondes, it could be a joke about dumb blondes."
5. Teacher: "Enumerate the continents."
Blonde: "A, E, I, O, U", then Del said in a shocked tone "Why?.....ahhhhh consonants?", then Chico goes " One, it's the vowels and Two, she confused consonants with the continents."
4. Question: "How do you erase a blonde's memory?"
Answer: Blow in her ear !....lol...lol....
3. Question: "What do you call a smart blonde?"
Answer: A Golden Retriever....., then Del said after giggling "A dog!!!", and Chico added "That's the only time they're smart!"
2. Blonde: "Well....I'd rather be late and cute than be freaking early and ugly!"
1. From Beauty and the Geek TV show.....
Blonde: "February has an 'r' ???!!!, since when?"
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the second batch entries are here............
10. Question: A blonde and a brunette fell off a building, "who will hit the ground first?"
Answer: The brunette, because the blonde will ask for directions first on the way down.
9. You would know a genuine blonde if.....(2 things)
[1] If she's stabbed during a shootout.
[2] If she asked you to meet her in the corner of a block and don't walk.
8. A blonde after a swimming competition exclaimed.... "I lost the breast stroke!....coz the other girls cheated!!!!...they used their hands."....softer giggle,..then Del said "She must have been treading....while you know, stroking.."
7. During a 5km swim, from one island to another, there are 3 swimmers-a brunette, a redhead and a blonde. The brunette got exhausted at once and drowned after 1 km. The redhead lasted a bit longer but still got very exhausted and drowned at 2kms. The blonde at 4km finally got tired and said "I'm too tired to go on!!", so she swim back.
6. At the hospital.........A blonde patient was tiptoeing around in the hospital, so the nurse guy got curious and asked her why is she tiptoeing, the blonde replied "ShhhhShhhhh!!!!!.....I don't want to wake up the sleeping pills!"
5. Question: "What are the perks of being famous?"
Britney Spears: "Well.....I get to go overseas, like CANADA.", then Chico blurted out "That's not exactly overseas!", then Del added "You just cross the borders, it's still a part of Main Land America."
4. Question: "How is a blonde like a softdrink bottle?"
Answer: It's empty from the neck up....hmmmmm[soft laughter]..Del "So Bad!!"
3. Question: "What do you call a blonde with half a brain?"
Answer: GIFTED!!!!....and they laugh really loud...
2. Question: "What is the blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?"
Answer: Hump me....Dump me
1. Question: "How do you make a blonde laugh on a Saturday?"
Answer: Tell her a joke on Wednesday!!!!......., after giggling, Del exclaimed "Just like me sometimes, it took a couple of seconds for me to figure it out, the connections in my brain are in slow-mo", then Chico commented "But for blondes, it's not a couple of seconds, it's a couple of days...so by Saturday she'll be laughing!!!!..."
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This is the last top 10 entries..............
10. A blonde after the Pacquiao-dela Hoya fight......
Blonde: "Whatttt!!!???, dela Hoya lost....you think he'll win in the replay?"....[soft laughter]...
9. Teacher calls a brunette.....
Teacher: "Brunette, 3 + 1?"
Brunette: "4 po..."
Teacher: "Very Good....ok, Blonde 1 + 3?"
Blonde: "Hayaaannnn na...'pag ako talaga mahirap!!!!!"
8. Question: "What is 5 kms long and has an IQ of 60?"
Answer: A blonde's brain.
7. Question: "How does a blonde kill a fish?"
Answer: She drowns it.
Question: "How does a blonde kill a bird?"
Answer: She throws it off a cliff.
6. A blonde walks in to a library and goes up to the librarian and said "I'll have a burger, large fries and a diet cola."
Librarian: "Miss!!, this is a library!"
Blonde: "Owww...Sorry!!!.....[in her softest tone, almost whispering] I'll have a burger, large fries and a diet cola.".......then Chico and Delamar found themselves in rapture again, laughing out loud.....I love how Chico delivered this one especially the second time he said the blonde's line....He was totally hilarious, hope you heard him say this one....FUNNY
5. Many entries for this spot.....
*Pamela Anderson: "I love being blonde, such low expectations!"
*A redhead was jumping up and down at the train tracks shouting "25!, 25!, Yoohhooo!, 25!" [Chico was yelling, keeping it real] , A blonde saw her and started to do the same thing, the train comes along and hits the blonde. The redhead goes back to the train tracks then goes "26!, 26!.....Yoohooo!, 26!", Del said..."Oh..that's bad...so bad!!"
*Question: "What would you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?"
Answer: Pull the pin and throw it back to her! [because she didn't pull the pin, when she threw it to you.]
5. A blonde broke an ancient bust in a museum, the the Currator said to her "Do you realize, that is a 500-euro bust that you broke?" then the Blonde answered "Huuuu..[sigh of relief]...Thank GOD.....I thought I broke a new one."
*It happened on a scene of an accident...
The man who lost his hand goes..."Ohhh.. GOD...I lost my hand..." [screaming hysterically]....then the Blonde tried to calm him down and said "Ok now....don't cry...look at that man, he lost his head, do you see him crying?"
4. Question: "What do you call a blonde's skeleton in a closet?"
Answer: Last year's Hide and Seek winner...,Del "She forgot to come out.", Chico added "She stayed there, and stayed there and stayed there!"
3. Question: "What do you get when a naked blonde does a head stand?"
Answer: A brunette with a bad breath!
2. A blonde saw another blonde on the other side of the river...
Blonde A : "Yoooohhooooo[distant yell] ....Helooooooo??? [Chico was screaming to keep it real], How do I get to the other side of the river?"
Blonde B, after looking to the other side of the river and then shouts back "You are on the other side of the river!!!!"....after giggling Del said "What would happen if you leave stupid people alone?" and Chico added "You're there, I'm here so you're on the other side of the river."
1. Three girls escaped from prison, a brunette, a redhead and a blonde. They saw three empty trash bins so they hid in one trash bin each. When the cops arrive, they kick the brunette's bin. The brunette goes "Meowww!....Meowww!..", [mimmicking a cat] so the cops said "Ohhh!...it's just a cat.", then they kick the Redhead's bin, the redhead said "Harfff!...Harffff..", [imitating a dog] so the cops go "Ohhh!....it's just a dog."...So they kick the last bin-the blonde's bin. The blonde then goes "Garbage!!...Garbage!!", [in an animal-like tone]....:D
Hope you could hear Chico and Del while delivering these entries, hope you could hear how they react on each responses.......It's fun listening to them and to their contagious laughter.....:D
thanks again Chico and Del for another great topic for my blog....
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