Say 'Cheese'

Every morning, it has been a habit that when I leave the house to go to school, I skip breakfast. I don't know why, but I guess my body has been used to that routine. But yesterday, it turned out to be the time for me to break it for I can't withstand the pain my stomach has experiencing that time (not because of nauuu ako) but because of hunger. I decided to look for the nearest place where I could beat it and I found Jollibee, every child's favorite. I ordered a 39er meal (halatang nagtitipid, walang pera) then the cashier lady asked me if I would like to buy a peach mango pie to get a free Phil. Star broadsheet and I answered her with a nod. After eating my meal, I began reading the paper.

There I found my topic for today's post. It was a column from Mrs. Lilles entitled Man of the Year, about a hilarious website where onliners can submit photos showing the "authority" that men have over women in its most comical way. Posted in her article were three winning pictures-two runners up and a grand prize. The 2nd runner up pic illustrates a young couple walking in the rain. The man walks coolly holding an umbrella to protect him while her girlfriend is just few steps away behind him busy balancing six crates of beer on her two hands. The girl's eyesight was blocked by the tower of beers she's holding, so in order to get a view of where she's headed to, she peers from the side of the crates making her look more miserable in that situation. The first runner up pic is a snapshot of a man and a woman riding on a boat. The overweight man is comfortably seated on the stern of the boat and is reclined, at ease smoking a stick of a cigarette. The woman on the other hand is seated at the fore raised upward because of the man's weight (the boat looks like a see-saw, the man below, woman on top) is at labor rowing away to keep the boat going. The champion's pic is about another young couple again but this time camping. A two-person tent is fixed on the ground. The man was inside the tent, having his good sleep. Lain down beside him is his bicycle. He's even embracing his bike. Where is her girlfriend?, Oh..she's also having her nap but due to lack of space in the tent, she is asleep outside, having no blanket that would protect her from the cold wind but atleast she had a sleeping bag with her. (The best!). I found myself laughing seeing those photos. It made me realize how dumb yet powerful men are and how stupid women are when it comes to relationships.lol.

The column writer's opinion, of course being part of the women group, is just that she felt upset on how men treat women and how stupid some women are. Quit laughing now and let's see the bad things flashed on those pics. On the couple walking in the rain, at first glance you would think that the man was a gentleman for he's holding the umbrella, but knowing that the girl was left behind him, makes him not. The writer agrees that the girl is really 100% stupid, saying what kind of woman would allow herself to be bullied into hauling six crates of beer with her bare hands, while her boyfriend walks leisurely ahead of her under an umbrella. She's only someone who doesn't have much of a brain. But, what if the girl really had the strength to carry those? why the heck not? but still the point is obvious. It's her fault. Even if she had that strength, she can reason out that she's still a girl not accustomed to do that thing and alike, and blame her boyfriend for being thoughtless. She can complain on how rude she was treated. She can put those crates down and yell at him, but she never did. She preferred to carry the beers single-handedly than to kick his boyfriend's ass.

The couple on the boat has a different story maybe. The man looks so scary (like a capre, with his weight and cigar) and he really looks like the boss, sitting pretty having his cigarette break while the girl; his slave doing the the hardwork rowing the boat. I think for this instance, I can't say the girl is stupid like the first. The girl has no choice, she could do nothing. Due to the fear she felt that if she didn't row the boat, the man would easily throw a punch on her and kick her out of the boat leaving her on the lake, she continue what she's doing even if she didn't have an intention to do so at the first place. It can't be denied that most likely it would happen if the girl stopped rowing, with the man's weight and built!?. She couldn't even escape, where would she go, they're in the middle of the lake? She accepted things the way they were and do anything she could though she never want it to.

The champion photo was really worth the prize. The man sleeping soundly cuddling his bike while his poor girl asleep outside the tent, unprotected from any form of elements. They're both to be blamed. The man for being disrespectful and inconsiderate to prefer a bike over a girl to sleep beside him. What can make a bike more valuable that his girlfriend's life? Asshole. And that stupid girl, for letting it happen. She somehow deserved what she got for her stupidity. She could not let that happen, she could yell at her boyfriend and scare him that she would rather split with him than to sleep outside. And even if the man has chosen the bike over her, she could kick her boyfriend's ass and leave, go home or sleep comfortably somewhere else than to take a nap outside the tent uneasily. She's an idiot for not doing so. She desired to sleep outside while she can see her boyfriend having a deep sleep with his bike, ignoring her presence at all than to leave the f****** man there and sleep at ease somewhere else. She had all the choices but she didn't take one. Her being stupid is really incomparable. She's worth a statue or a plaza named after her for being one.

See, how these women bare their stupidities. I don't know if in those pics, the men really had the power over those girls. Whatever, basta it only proves one thing: that we, men are the dumbest creatures living in the world and women are the most stupid organisms the God has created. I am not saying that all women are, some or most of them put themselves in situations they never wanted to be in. But because of loose bolts in their heads, most of the time they do.

Actually, they can easily quit out of those situations but they never did. Is it for the sake of love, that they don't do so? I guess it's not, it's more of idiocy. Seems like a picture is developed every time a dumb man meet a stupid woman.... :-D




PS
Actually, my original title for this is similar to the last sentence of this post, partly rephrased. 'When Mr. Dumb Meet Ms. Stupid, A picture develops' was the first thing that crossed my mind but I just don't feel comfortable having a longer title, I prefer a two-to-three-word title more that's why all of my entry's title here are comprised of four words or less. Just explaining

Can't Keep Promises

It's no wonder that I see people busy on putting up colorful banners in their respective streets because the feast of Sto. Nino in Tondo is few days away from now- six days to be exact. This celebration has no precise date, but it usually falls on the third Sunday of January so sometimes it is too early or too late.

It was a tradition in our place that everytime the feast of Sto. Nino is about to come, the Tondo people need to put banners or any colorful designs up on each street. Most of the banners I see were made up of plastic such as various colors of plastic bags, plastic strips, recycled aluminum foils, empty sachets of bleaching powders and anything that when held up high looks beautiful and attractive to the eye. Our street's banners are just plastic bags; the plastic used in packing of sugar and rice in sari-sari stores. I don't know where they get the idea that its color is the same as this text's. For those who can't imagine how these banners look like, the pink plastic bags are aligned and are attached to a long pink plastic straw (can imagine now ?). THEY made it just yesterday, and I am emphasizing the word THEY because I was not able to help my neighbors in attaching the bags for I was busy watching the UAAP volleyball (UST def DLSU) in studio23 and I don't want to do it either for I know they don't need any kind of help from me and besides, there's too many of them, no more room available for me to help.

They finished putting the banners up around 6 in the evening. I look at it this morning and I find it good and beautiful but it would have been better if it's not pink geez. In Lallana, a street near ours, I'm just speculating why their banners are not the traditional fishnets(lambat), because every year that street has the most beautiful banner because fishnets really look good hanging on the road. I don't know what happened, why they prefer silver plastic strips instead of their fishnets. Whatever. That's not my concern anyway.
Fiesta na naman, it only means plenty of mouth-watering foods again...and it seems like I won't be able to burn those holiday fats I gained last year as I pledged. Looks like the saying is right, promises are really meant to be broken. :(

Stainless Longganisa

Everyday on my way to school, I always make sure that I have bought a copy of PM; an eight-peso tabloid. In that cheap paper, I was able to fight the boredom i often feel during my "tunganga" hours in school. I find solving the Sudoku puzzle a very interesting thing to do whenever I had class breaks....very long class breaks. At least now, I found something that I could get myself busy with. But this post has nothing to do with Sudoku. This day, I wasn't able to buy a copy of PM, "manang" said that it was already sold out...so I decided to buy tabloids other than PM..and I got Abante Tonite. There is a column in that paper where I put my attention to. It was on page 8, with the column's title Jokes Lang Po by Jerry Olea. I found all of his jokes funny that I see myself laughing while reading his punchlines. There is one listed on his column that says how important our ballpens can be. That made me realized that it's somehow true.

I don't know if these jokes can make you laugh or atleast make you smile. I guess if you don't, then I have proven one thing "mababaw lang ang kaligayahan ko". I easily get hooked to those simple hilarious words. Take a peek on the things listed on his column.

*BUNSO: Inay, bakit po Victoria ang pangalan ni ate? INAY: Kasi sa motel namin siya ginawa. BUNSO: Eh si Kuya Toyota? INAY: Eh, kasi don siya sa sasakyan ginawa..hay naku!, Esquinita, matulog ka na nga!.

*Q: If Biogesic is Paracetamol, Diatabs is Loperamide, Alaxan is Ibuprofen, what is the generic name for condom?
A: Paradibuntisen.

*Before speaking, listen
Before spending, earn
Before criticizing, wait
Before quiting, try
and never forget.....
before making love, foreplay

*Minsan sa aking pag-iisa, naalala kita
Iniisip kong nasa tabi lang kita at tayo'y nagsasaya.
Tapos, bigla kang umalis
Nalungkot ako
Akala ko iiwan mo na 'ko
Tatae ka lang pala.

*Mga pamatay na Wrong Lyrics
"I decide long ago, never to walk with Edu Manzano..."(Greatest love of all)
"It started when we were younger, you were nine."(My Boo)
"My only nest is killing me..Hey now!"(Hit me Baby One more time)
"Nothing's gonna change my love for you, you know naman my love how much i love you."(Nothing's gonna change my love for you)

*Quotes from the world's greatest warriors....
"I came, I saw, I conquered."-Julius Ceasar
"I shall return!" - Douglas McArthur
"I will payt iniwan, iniwer, initaym!" - Manny Pacquiao

*Binata: Miss, hindi ka pala magaling mag-drive no?
Dalaga: Bakit mo naman nasabi 'yan?
Binata: Because you're driving me crazy eh...

*Binata: Uhmmm..., Miss, may kilala ka bang cardiologist?
Dalaga: O, bakit naman?
Binata: Kasi, nagiging abnormal ang heartbeat ko whenever you are near...

*Bukas sisingilin ko na yung bayad mo sa renta......
Ang tagal mo na kasing naninirahan sa puso ko!...

*Huwag kang masyadong maging sweet sa isang tao, lalo na kung iba ang laman ng puso mo.
Dahil 'yan, kapag nahulog sa 'yo, madadagdagan na naman ang mga EMO!.
Baka magkaroon na tayo ng krisis sa eyeliner!.

*Kapag walang ballpen, walang notes. Kapag walang notes, walang pag-aaral. Kapag walang pag-aaral, walang diploma. Kapag walang diploma, walang trabaho. Kapag walang trabaho, walang pera. Kapag walang pera, walang pagkain.Kapag walang pagkain, magugutom. Kapag nagutom, papayat. Kapag payat, papangit.Kapag pangit, walang syota.Kapag walang syota, walang asawa. Kapag walang asawa, walang anak.Kapag walang anak, made-depress.Kapag na-depress, magkakasakit.Kapag may sakit, mamamatay ka. Kapag patay na, wala ka na.Kaya ikaw..ingatan mo ballpen mo.

From this day on, I'll take care of my pen; see what would happen in case we lost our ballpens. This made me realized how important my ballpen is.

I would like to acknowledge Bob Ong for giving me an idea of what's this post's title should be. I remembered his fifth book, if I'm not mistaken, its title is the same as this post's, he referred ballpens as such. For those who don't know him, he's the author of ABNKKBSNPLAKO?, Bakit Baligtad Magbasa ng Libro ang mga Pilipino?, Paboritong Libro ni Hudas, Alamat ng Gubat and Stainless Longganisa. I really like all his books especially the third one and I don't know if he got a new one...just inform me..:D

Unwanted Comeback

Happy times are finally over......Holiday break has come to an end.

It is now time to wave goodbye to those happy times we had last December and say hello to 2008 this January. Though we have welcomed the new year with big smiles, I don't think we could still have those when we realized what this new year has brought back to us.
New year means goodbye celebration days and nights. No more time for friendly gimmicks and lakwatsas. No more feast-like dinners on our tables, no more putobumbong and bibingka, no more simbang gabi where you could go outside your house even in late nights, no more everything we had during the break because schooldays and working days are making their comebacks now. It's over, it is really over (deep breaths). I can see my bag and paperworks greeting me Hi, saying they missed me this past few weeks, and my shoes approaching me, saying Hey!..put me on your feet, let's go to school now. Ahhhhhh *%#*&^%. My days will become stressed again this time. Schoolstuffs are returning on my way now and so are the lab works, problem sets and long exams. F*** $***. No more long sleeps now, instead my nights would be endless doing the prob sets and reviewing for exams. If during the break I could wakeup late, now I must set my eyes open at early morn; earlier than a rooster should. I would hear that loud alarm of my cellphone again waking me up even if I don't want to. Hhhhhaaaa. Why can't they make the Holiday break a bit longer?!..

Reality check...this is really it even if i don't want to, there is nothing I can do to stop it besides, I missed UP and my profs (lightning and thunderclaps strike consecutively !!!!!) My days will get busier this time. I will begin and end my days full with thoughts on my head about school (saklap). I want to feel it's still break; no doubt I'm still in a vacation mood...:(

Well, I have more time now to burn these holiday fats I gained though.:D