Top Teacher's Quotes by Chico and Delamar

I'm back again! in writing something about Chico and Del's Top Ten, it's been a long while since I detached myself temporarily from them but as I said, I'm here now to post another interesting topic from the Morning Rush.

Their top10 that day was about the totally hilarious quotes by the teachers....funny because most of which attest to the common fact that nobody is perfect, all of us including our teachers made their own mistakes, they even sometimes play the stupid one for you wouldn't expect him/her [since he/she is a teacher] would commit errors...especially when it's about the lessons he/she's teaching.....especially grammar. This topic reminds me one of my teacher in High School-Mrs. Miguel of our Research class...She should have been here in this entry. All the funny stuffs she did and said way back then were all still etched on my mind. How can I forget her famous and very favorite font-"the New Times Roman"...hehehe......

Here's the 1st batch....................

10. A teacher always said "Panis na laway, nakakamatay."

9. From a listener who send his response, when I was in High School, we have a project wherein we have to do a portrait of somebody famous, di pwede ang hayop, bagay o prutas. During that time, Eraserheads was really famous and I wanted to draw Ely Buendia so I asked my teacher "Sir, pwede po ba ang Banda?"....the teacher replied very angrily "Hindi ba..kasasabi ko lang, di pwede ang hayop, ANO BA ANg PANDA, di ba HAYOP yun?"..Del: "No, not panda sir, banda.."

8. The Home Economics teacher said "You, get the broom and broom the room."..Del: "It's rhymed."

7. A teacher in an all-boy school said to a student "You're not a boy anymore....you're a man ANYMORE."

6. A teacher in a radio interview, a BS MAth graduate, at one point she goes "Alam nyo, kahit saang sulok pa tayo pumunta ng mundo, 1 + 1 =1."....Del "Oh no.." Chico "I mean her point was wherever you go, it will always be 1 + 1 = 2."...Del: "Uhhhmmm... BS MAth pala ha.!"....Chico: "Anong school huhu!!?"

5. They did a seat work and nobody was able to understand anything, so the teacher was so exasperated and said "Kayo ha!!!...you're not reading your books, just for that, my SURPRISE quiz tayo bukas."

4. A music teacher said "Bukas, maghanda kayo ng duet?", and then a naughty student asked "Ma'am, pwede tatlo kami?", the teacher replied "Kahit ilan kayo, basta duet.".....Del: "Oh no!!!...teachers.., come on!!!"

3. The teacher didn't want to have classes the next day but she wasn't allowed to do it so she said "Hindi ko pwedeng sabihing walang klase, pero ang sasabihin ko sa inyo....pag pumasok ako bukas at walang tao...eh...di walang klase."...Del: "Obviously this is college, In UP, there's a 15 minute rule, if the teacher is not there in 15 minutes, you can go, that means no classes."

2. The teacher goes "What is the plural of thief? [but pronounced as 'thef' by the teacher]....the students said "What??..What???"...the teacher exclaimed "Thef lang di nyo alam ang plural?? eh di..thieves [pronounced as 'thevs' by the teacher] thevs ang plural ng thef....Del interrupted "Thieves!!!!"....then they laughed for quite some time.....Del: "Mr. Policeman, there's a thef.!!"...Chico "A thef!!!...a thef who stole my handkerchef!!!"

1. From the CAT commander....he goes very sternly..."Your conduct is becoming....unbecoming!!"....

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Her's the next batch of entries........

10. They had to take their class/graduation pictures in a studio called Orly's photography [photography by Orly]...the teacher said "Bakit hindi kayo pumunta kay Mang Orly's?....Kausap ko si Mang Orly's kahapon, di raw kayo pumunta...nakakahiya naman kay Mang Orly's.."....Chico: "With an apostrophe s."

9. According to their music teacher....Grease is the longest running musical..kaya yan longest kasi may Grease 1 at Grease 2......Del: "What's the longest one?"...Chico: "Cats.....when somebody throws you something..".....Both: "Cats!!"..[while laughing out loud]..

8. The teacher instructed the students "Magdala kayo ng crayons bukas ha!!..yung may kulay at yung wala."

7. People were laughing behind the teacher's back, the teacher heard them laughing so she exclaimed "He..he...hey.....What's the funny?"..[loud giggle]

In an accounting class.....no matter how hard they try to study every time they have an exam, atleast half of them will have a grade of 5.0-a failing grade...so finally the teacher goes "Class, remeber the saying...No PAIN, No Glory."....[loud laugh]...Chico "Mixing up the sayings...yeah...next to No GUTS, No GAIN."

The teacher goes.."Please guys.....let's work as a teamwork."

The teacher was so angry so she goes "So early morning, you're boiling my blood."...[Chico has gone mad.]

The students were all rushing into the classroom and they were pushing each other so the teacher said "Huwag nga kayong magtulakan....Enter the classroom...little by little." Chico: "Arm first, and then one leg, then the other leg." ..Del: "one by one....not little by little..What are you?..a fluid?"

6. The class was very noisy....finally the teacher yelled "STOP!!!!!!"...so the class stopped whatever they're doing...so the teacher goes "Who told you to STOP??"..

5. The teacher wrote this on the blackboard...it was an exam...Spell the following words.

4. The teacher give the instructions a couple of times already and then one student goes "Sir...come again."...so the teacher replied "How many times do I have to come again?"...Chico: "Don't say it that way?"...[it may mean something different especially for the perverts]..

3. On a day where a lot of people are late....the teacher exclaimed "Why are you only now?"...

During exam, the teacher goes..."Are you through?"....the student retorted "Not yet Ma'am."....the teacher said "Then, through it!!!"...Chico: "Tapusin mo..!!"

2. It was a fill in the blank exam, the first question went.....[Blank] is the [Blank] of [Blank] [Blank] and [Blank]...Chico: "You've got to be kidding me."...."What student would get the answer.?"....

1. The English teacher goes "Class, f is ef, p is pi, get the foint?"....they laugh out loud

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The last ludicrous entries............

10. The physics professor said "Class what is a Porsche?"...nobody in the class got it, so the teacher said "Class, a Porsche is just simply either a fush or a full."...[giggling]...Del: "Force!!!!."

9. The student asked "Ma'am...do we write cursive, or do we write in cursive or in print?"....the teacher replied..."Oh...No...No..just write in paragraph form."

8. They were standing in a line and the teacher was referring at the very back and said "You!!, at the back...with no one behind."

7. The teacher goes "Beware of pickpockets in a cementery."...the student goes "Ma'am cementery????"......so the teacher replied "Ow...Sorry guys...Sorry!!...Sorry!!..Beware of the pickpockets in the Loyola Cementery."

6. This is a Filipino teacher....and they were discussing famous Filipino authors..the teacher goes "At sinong Pilipino ang hindi makaka-alala sa henyong manunulat na si.......????.....si????....sino nga ba yun????!!!.." [they gone mad]....Del: "Apparently you!".

5. Somebody asked the teacher "Ma'am anong tama, multi-national or multi-national?" [the second one was pronounced as multay]...the teacher answered "Multi-national [pronounced as multay]..pag multay-national english, pag multi-national tagalog."

4. The teacher said "Class, I'm sorry for being absent for a couple of days cause I'm suffering from 'jarya'."...Del: "Diarrhea...jarya?.."

Somebody threw a paper plane at a teacher, and it hit him on the head..so when the paper plane hit him, he turned around and said "Who said that??!!!!"

3. Teacher "Class time for our exam, right minus correct."...Del: "Right minus wrong."

2. They were having an English campaign...the teacher said "Class, everyone will speak only in English, MALIWANAG??"

the teacher asked them "Ok class, fall in line, then pass out one by one."

1. The teacher goes "Halika dito Grace!...tignan nyo tong si Grace, maayos ang buhok, kumpleto ang uniporme, may ID, malinis....siya dapat ang tularan niyo..!!!........sige maupo ka na ANAK."...Chico "It turns out Grace was her daughter."

Thanks Chico and Del......hehehe..hope I could find another great topic and I'm eying for their Top Driver's Quotes....hehehe