Dumbest Things You Heard in School by Chico and Delamar

In schools, we learn a lot of things we never knew before. Our teachers provide us the necessary facts, ideas and morals in life that we have to discover. But you know, sometimes, inadvertently, that's not the only things we got from them. Alongside with the academic lessons are some misconceptions and some not-so-witty things they said unintentionally. Lets admit it, those things are the reasons for us to deride them, putting them in such ridicule. School is a huge place where we could acquire a lot of things, whether it's good or bad, but that's okay, because it'll just make the serious life of students a bit fun and exciting....even if mocking their teachers and classmates is the only thing which encourages them to go back to school, why not!!.. right?

Well, that's Chico and Delamar's topic for the first day of classes this year, they list down all the dumbest things you heard anyone say on school...I realized, I should also give credit not only to C&D....but also to all the rushers who sent in their ludicrous entries to the Morning Rush top 10, that's why from now on, I will going to write down their names alongside with their own entries. Also another person deserving of an acknowledgment is Blu Ritz; the one who provides me with the all the recorded MR episodes......thanks to his blog...I will post the link....hehehe....

Here's the1st batch of entries.....

10. Miranova- During attendance, the home room teacher says "Ok class, para mabilis, lahat ng absent, ........taas kamay!".

9. Bree- The PE teacher, for some reason was talking about the world wars, so he said "I'm not sure, either it's the first or the second world war II." Chico : "That, really got me confused."

8. Mamski - Our chem teacher substituted for our absent health head teacher, and she said "Class, during menstruation, the reason you bleed is because when the egg cells are released, they bleed. " Chico : "It's the blood of the egg cells."

7. Girl Temperamental - We had a teacher who just entered the school and everyone was noisy, so he just started saying "Get Out!, Get Out!"..., so everyone started standing out and started leaving, then he goes "Where are you going, Didn't I just tell you, Get Out!...Get Out!............ your calculator."....(loud giggle)..Chico : "He's not yet finished!."

6. Carmine - A teacher applicant wrote in a sentence-completion test; the sentence went, "When the odds are against me [blank]........", so the teacher applicant said, "When the odds are against me, I will against them."...Del :"At least she's palaban."

5. Sosyalera - Their teacher said "Ok class, tomorrow, I'm bringing the Earth.", Chico : "The Globe!!!!."

4. Oscar dela Hopya - our teacher said "Ok class, get one whole sheet of pad paper.", then one classmate asked "Ma'am, crosswise or lengthwise."

3. Abernathy- one time, I asked our teacher, "Ma'am, how can you tell major from minor chords?"...the teacher answered "Ahh..simple lang yan, they're different."

2. Miguelito - our teacher right after the exam.."Pinis or not Pinis, fass your fafer."....so everyone started laughing....the he goes again "Ang yayabang ninyo, kala nyo kung sino kayong Ferpect. Ferpect ba kayo?, Ferpect?"...then the whole class laughed again."...Del : "There's no winning."

1. Specialist - He overheard 2 teachers talking about dogs, the one goes "Anong breed yung aso nyo?, Japanese Peech or Cockers Spaniard?"

2nd batch.......

10. Abernathy- we once had a teacher who said "You know Jumping Jack?, you know, the open the box, and the jack will jump?."...Chico : "Jack in the box, jumping jack is the exercise, it's not the jack that jumps, it's a clown.

9. Disaster 101 - Our teacher was so angry because students were questioning his capacity as an Engineering teacher, so he had to state his credentials.."Thirteen years old na akong nagtuturo ng engineering."..Chico : "So you don't know if he was saying was he's teaching since he was 13 yrs. old or he's been teaching for 13 years.

8. El Torto - During choral practice, our choir master was saying "The ones not singing, I can hear you."....Chico : "How can you hear them?"

7. R Vincent - the class was whooping around in Chem class, the teacher walked in and said one word "Evaporate!"...Chico : "Our teacher used to say, Class, settle your molecules....and she's the teacher who came in with bright stripes, so everyone was laughing, then she goes "What's funny?"...we had a classmate who raised his hand and say "Ma'am, because you look like a zebra."

6. Ireton - The teacher goes, class complete the sentence-My mother sleep.........then a classmate says "Ahmmm..like anus of chicken!"...Chico : "Parang pwet ng manok., it closes then it opens."...then they both play on that phrase-anus of chicken.

5. Joric - one time, everyone was like rushing into the classroom, pushing each other so the teacher shouted "Wag kayong magtulakan, Enter the room, little by little."...Chico : "Hands first, then feet next."

4. TMR Addict - the teacher was really angry at them so she said "Para kayong dinosaurs, ang lalaki nyo, ang liliit ng utak nyo!", then the classmate said "Ma'am kung dinosaur kami, kakainin namin kayo, wraaarrhhh!"

3. Page - the teacher said "Class, get a pencil!"

, then the classmate said "Ma'am ballpen?"

, the teacher replied "Sabi ko ballpen!"

, then the classmate asked again, "Ma'am, blue ink o red ink?"

2. Tyrone - a classmate once asked the teacher "Ma'am, namamana po ba ng anak ang pagkabaog ng ama?"....

1. Sosyalera - the teacher barged into the classroom, livid, angry and she shouted "Class, sino naglagay ng munggo sa aquarium, tumubo!,[C&D started laughing...really hard and loud!], puno na ng toge yung aquarium!, tignan nyo yung aquarium, puno na ng toge!"...Chico : "for experiments, to show you that plants follow lights, but hey, why not put it here, in the aquarium."

3rd batch.........

10. Astroboy - the teacher asked, "What are nitrates?", the classmate answered "Ma'am, more expensive than day rates"....Del : "What are you thinking?!"...

9. The Game - a classmate once told the professor "Sir, I have two word for you, Fri, Day"....the teacher this time, "Class, if your heart is having an attack, it is called a heart attack."

8. Tiririt - a classmate was teasing the teacher "Sir, malapit na Pasko, ano size ng T-shirt mo.", the teacher goes, "Aba..Aba..Aba, bad yan ha..bribery...small."

7. Tina Pie - the teacher goes "Class, give me examples of mutation."

.....then a classmate goes "Ma'am, seedless grapes."

.....the teacher said "Wow, Very Good, give me another one.",

.....then another classmate goes "Ma'am, boneless bangus."

Chico : "Remember the Erap joke, where they saw Erap planting nothing then they go, "Ano tinatanim mo?"

....then Erap goes "Duh!, seedless grapes."...

5. Mr. Perk - I once asked the teacher, "Ma'am cursive or print?", the teacher goes "Hinde!.., make it simple, paragraph form!"

4. Kid Santiago - my dad went to my school to get my report card, the teacher asked to him "Are you the mother or the father of Ken?"..Del : "You want me to show you, anatomically?"

3. Genovia - there was this pasosyal classmate of Genovia, and their teacher was aking them what they're parents do for a living, then the pasosyal classmate answered in a very maarte kolehiyala tone "Ahhmm...Kasi may Mom...ahhmmm, She's in Taiwan. ...She's working in a fabric."...Del : "Yeah!, inside the satin."

2. Feb Kinse - the teacher asked "Ano ang kaibahan ng 69 sa 6.9?", then a classmate answered "Mas panget yung 6.9 kasi may period."

1. No name - the teacher goes, "Class, tomorrow, bring colored puto."

...then a classmate asked "Ma'am pwede na ba yung ube-flavored sa Goldilocks?"

....the teacher replied "What do you think this is, picnic?...I said bring colored puto!,...colored puto-graph!"....that puts Chico and Del in euphoria

Last batch......

10. Nikki - During a Spelling, the teacher said "Number One.."...then a hand was raised, a student said "Ma'am...Wrong spelling, wrong?"

9. Antidote - the teacher said "Lahat ng lalaki, magbabahag...kahit anong kulay...basta red."

8. Feb Kinse - The teacher asked "Kung meron akong 5 anak sa unang asawa, 10 sa pangalawa at 3 sa ikatlong asawa, meron akong..???

"....then a student asnwered..."Kalandian???

".....Del : "More than a mathematical question, it was a moral one."

7. No Name - In their French Class, the teacher asked one student "Are you Chinese [in French, I don't know how to spell]

......then the student answered, she was half Chinese.."Mejwa"...[sounds like medyo]

6. No Name - the teacher goes "Ok class, what do you call a person who keeps on talking even when people are no longer interested??"

....then one student stood up and say "Ma'am...teacher.".....[giggling very hard].....

Del : "It's true. It's like a boomerang, you want the question to be answered and not to be thrown back to you as an insult."

Del : "Then, what's the proper answer?"

Chico : "..a DJ.".....[they both laughed]

Del : "No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

5. No Name - the kid was telling the parents "Alam nyo, ang lesson namin kanina sa school ay tungkol sa manok."

....then the father asked "Ah, talga?..madali ba?"

the kid answered "Chicken na chicken..."

...the father inquired again "E, ano score mo?"..

the kid said "Itlog."

Another entry...

Lock On Stratus - the teacher wrote a very difficult math equation on the board and said "O, sino nakakaalam ng solution sa equation na 'to?"

,...then a student raised his hand immediately and said "Ma'am.., kayo po."

.......Chico : "That is a correct answer for a certain degree."......Chico : "Del, we're not here to solve the problem, we're here just to compount them."

4. Call Boy 13 - the class was divided into 6 groups, but everyone was so magulo.....and then she said..."O, class....sino dito sa group Sex?..."

3. Glen - the student raised his hand and asked the teacher "Ma'am...ang utot ba bumubukol??"....[Del can't help but laugh while Chico's delivering it]

...then the teacher answered.."Hindeee..."

...the student said "Patay.....etat..na 'to." [they both find themselves in rapture, laughing really hard]

Del : "It's so gross."

2. Vice - there was a crime in school, so the reporter asked the teacher "Ma'am, ano po ang next move natin?"

..the teacher answered "DNA!"

..the reporter got confused and asked again "Ma'am, ano pong DNA?"

the teacher said "Di Namin Alam.!"....[tawa]

1. Sasha Purse - In a math class, the teacher said "Bumili ako ng baboy, hinati ko sa dalawa, bawat isa hinati ko ulit sa apat, at bawat isang natira, hinati ko pa sa sixteen, ano ang meron ako?"

......the student answered "Giniling!"

...Del :Ok, at this rate, let us not send our children to school, they're at danger."

then their own entries.......

Del - In law school in Ateneo, the teacher asked "Why does the law prohibit marriage between cousins?"....then one student asnwered in a very atenean way "Sir, because....ahhmmm,,,,the law does not permit marriages between cousins....because....their kids will be weirdos.".....Chico : "There's a grain of truth somewhere there."

Chico - We had a 5:30 class in Spanish 3, the teacher pointed to a student...and said "Excuse me Miss, were you called ?".....

..then the student answered "No, Sir, I have a jacket."..

Del : "I hope that's not in UP."

Chico : "That's in UP, maybe she was a bit sleepy."

Thanks....Please leave some comments!!!!!!!!!...that's not a request, that's an ORDER!!!.....kidding.....