Stainless Longganisa

Everyday on my way to school, I always make sure that I have bought a copy of PM; an eight-peso tabloid. In that cheap paper, I was able to fight the boredom i often feel during my "tunganga" hours in school. I find solving the Sudoku puzzle a very interesting thing to do whenever I had class breaks....very long class breaks. At least now, I found something that I could get myself busy with. But this post has nothing to do with Sudoku. This day, I wasn't able to buy a copy of PM, "manang" said that it was already sold out...so I decided to buy tabloids other than PM..and I got Abante Tonite. There is a column in that paper where I put my attention to. It was on page 8, with the column's title Jokes Lang Po by Jerry Olea. I found all of his jokes funny that I see myself laughing while reading his punchlines. There is one listed on his column that says how important our ballpens can be. That made me realized that it's somehow true.

I don't know if these jokes can make you laugh or atleast make you smile. I guess if you don't, then I have proven one thing "mababaw lang ang kaligayahan ko". I easily get hooked to those simple hilarious words. Take a peek on the things listed on his column.

*BUNSO: Inay, bakit po Victoria ang pangalan ni ate? INAY: Kasi sa motel namin siya ginawa. BUNSO: Eh si Kuya Toyota? INAY: Eh, kasi don siya sa sasakyan ginawa..hay naku!, Esquinita, matulog ka na nga!.

*Q: If Biogesic is Paracetamol, Diatabs is Loperamide, Alaxan is Ibuprofen, what is the generic name for condom?
A: Paradibuntisen.

*Before speaking, listen
Before spending, earn
Before criticizing, wait
Before quiting, try
and never forget.....
before making love, foreplay

*Minsan sa aking pag-iisa, naalala kita
Iniisip kong nasa tabi lang kita at tayo'y nagsasaya.
Tapos, bigla kang umalis
Nalungkot ako
Akala ko iiwan mo na 'ko
Tatae ka lang pala.

*Mga pamatay na Wrong Lyrics
"I decide long ago, never to walk with Edu Manzano..."(Greatest love of all)
"It started when we were younger, you were nine."(My Boo)
"My only nest is killing me..Hey now!"(Hit me Baby One more time)
"Nothing's gonna change my love for you, you know naman my love how much i love you."(Nothing's gonna change my love for you)

*Quotes from the world's greatest warriors....
"I came, I saw, I conquered."-Julius Ceasar
"I shall return!" - Douglas McArthur
"I will payt iniwan, iniwer, initaym!" - Manny Pacquiao

*Binata: Miss, hindi ka pala magaling mag-drive no?
Dalaga: Bakit mo naman nasabi 'yan?
Binata: Because you're driving me crazy eh...

*Binata: Uhmmm..., Miss, may kilala ka bang cardiologist?
Dalaga: O, bakit naman?
Binata: Kasi, nagiging abnormal ang heartbeat ko whenever you are near...

*Bukas sisingilin ko na yung bayad mo sa renta......
Ang tagal mo na kasing naninirahan sa puso ko!...

*Huwag kang masyadong maging sweet sa isang tao, lalo na kung iba ang laman ng puso mo.
Dahil 'yan, kapag nahulog sa 'yo, madadagdagan na naman ang mga EMO!.
Baka magkaroon na tayo ng krisis sa eyeliner!.

*Kapag walang ballpen, walang notes. Kapag walang notes, walang pag-aaral. Kapag walang pag-aaral, walang diploma. Kapag walang diploma, walang trabaho. Kapag walang trabaho, walang pera. Kapag walang pera, walang pagkain.Kapag walang pagkain, magugutom. Kapag nagutom, papayat. Kapag payat, papangit.Kapag pangit, walang syota.Kapag walang syota, walang asawa. Kapag walang asawa, walang anak.Kapag walang anak, made-depress.Kapag na-depress, magkakasakit.Kapag may sakit, mamamatay ka. Kapag patay na, wala ka na.Kaya ikaw..ingatan mo ballpen mo.

From this day on, I'll take care of my pen; see what would happen in case we lost our ballpens. This made me realized how important my ballpen is.

I would like to acknowledge Bob Ong for giving me an idea of what's this post's title should be. I remembered his fifth book, if I'm not mistaken, its title is the same as this post's, he referred ballpens as such. For those who don't know him, he's the author of ABNKKBSNPLAKO?, Bakit Baligtad Magbasa ng Libro ang mga Pilipino?, Paboritong Libro ni Hudas, Alamat ng Gubat and Stainless Longganisa. I really like all his books especially the third one and I don't know if he got a new one...just inform me..:D